The End of Times — As the Asteroid approaches Earth, and massive lootings have been reported all over the world, one store remains unscathed.
The Radio Shack in Churm Street, Puxapawny County, Florida, which had the distinction of being the last remaining Radio Shack store in America, now has a new record to add to its wall of pathetic corporate awards. "We don't know how it happened. Or actually, how it never happened. We realized there was something off when rioters looted Jim's Bait & Tackle Shop on Washington Avenue. But when they went after Rita's Vegan Bubblegum Cronut Shop there was no doubt about it," said Jimmy Morales, the store's manager and Radio Shack's CFO.
"It's been three weeks since the last store in the city was ransacked and burned to the ground, and we've seen nothing. A couple of days ago I had Billy Bob pull out the DVD racks to the street to make it easier for people to pick an go. I mean, who wouldn't want to take home the complete Saved By the Bell: The College Years Collection?" explained Morales, as he handed a free Disc Man to our reporter to persuade him of breaking a couple windows and stealing a Phantom Menace movie poster before leaving.
