The End of Times — As the Doomsday Clock reaches its final hour, the National Riffle Association of America (NRA) issued a press release in which the organization urges the people to stand by their second amendment rights. "The second amendment was forged by the framers for times of chaos and fear, to allow the good people of America to defend what is theirs by the will of God. Carrying a gun, automatic rifle, or a small missile launcher, is a god given right written in the Bible by Jesus himself. As terror ensues thanks to "scientific proof" that an Asteroid will hit Earth, you'll need your pistols to shoot the Asian in the convenience store around the corner so you can provide for your big boned freckled children."
In the press release, the NRA guaranteed that the Extinction Level Event would be avoided mostly because "who doesn't fear our guns?", however, "if this extraterrestrial threat is not deterred by our right to bear arms, and if we are not able to shoot it down from the sky, don't worry, we are sure the Good Lord will spare all the white people of the best country in the Universe, the U-S of A."
