The End of Times — In a meaningless last effort to appeal to Millennials before the Asteroid wipes them off from the face of the Earth, Hillary Clinton has hired beloved comedian, Larry David, to represent her before the elusive age group.
"Apparently, I'm considered to be, quote, appealing to youngsters, unquote. Or some nonsense like that. What meshuggenah focus group could have come to that conclusion? I'll never know. Look at me? Do I look like a god damned Millennial to you? I couldn't grow a beard if you rubbed my face in fertilizer. Do you see any tattoos in these arms? When I was their age, tattoos were only for gay sailors," explained David to our Millennial correspondent, who wasn't paying attention as he was testing the latest Larry David filter on Snapchat.
"I don't know. It beats me how those kids could ever relate to a neurotic aging Jew from Brooklyn. Oh, well. I'll take the job anyway. After all, what else is there for me after Curb your Enthusiasm?," said David.
