The End of Times — It was a heated campaign between Jeb Bush and Monica L. Clinton, but ultimately the sitting Governor of Cuba got the delegates he needed to lock the nomination. "I'm so glad Jebby got what he wanted, " declared George W. Bush in exclusive to our transdimensional correspondent, James D. Jaberwock.
"He's always been dead set on this politics thing, and I'm happy he's finally on track to becoming President of the United States of Canada. I never had an interest on that, I just wanted to make money and keep the party going, you know what I mean?" said W as he skinny dipped in his pool at the Playboy Mansion with fifteen playmates.
Republican Senator, Hillary Rodham, made a an official statement on her Twitter as soon as the news were made public: "OMG, I'm so glad that husband stealing cunt got her ass kicked by that wimp. LOL."
In other news, Donald Trump is the same jerk all across the multiverse.
